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35: Das Sekret Tagebuch Michael Schumachers: Part Funf und Dreisig

Saturday July 17 2004
The latest instalment in Planet-F1's exclusive insight into the inner mind of the greatest racing driver ever to strap himself into a Ferrari. Read for yourself Michael's own secret diary...

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Hello my gloriously schumescent tifosis, I have a question to ask you. Are you sniffing the big one yet?

After my triumphant at Silverstone I think we can be saying that 2002 will soon be eclipsed and that 2004 will be the year of the Schumi, with 17 wins out of 18 – an almost complete season of top steps. Yes, every time I appear on the podium it will be in the first place.

It will surely be the greatest moment in motorsport history and encourage more people to watch F1, knowing that they are seeing a piece of history. You know how much people are loving history, that is why museums are so interesting. Including the Schumi museum in Kerpen where I grew up with little Ralfie. (or not so little when he was younger, I am sure you have all seen the charming home move with chubby cheeked Ralf and me mending his go-kart).

I think it is amazingly good news that he has got a contract with Toyota, despite having broken vertebrae yet to be mended. John Howett of Toyota clearly knows a lot more about motorsport than Patrick Head. Even though Head has been in F1 since the 70’s he says that Ralf’s two big accidents will slow him down. I have had similarly big accidents, especially at Silverstone in 1999, and it has not slowed me down.

Howett believes Ralf is quicker than Montoya and clearly this is the case. We just have to convince the rest of the pitlane.

I am intrigued by Eddie Jordan selling his team to Dubai and not talking about it very much. A quiet Eddie is like a tall Bernie. It just is not happening. Quite honestly I think one of their snaggling points will be the Jordan name. Eddie wants to keep it in F1. The unfortunate thing is that it is the only F1 name that sounds like a country – worse still – it is a rival Middle East country to Dubai.

If he had been Eddie Denmark, Eddie Sweden, Eddie Guam or Eddie Latvia it would have been no problem. Still, it could have been worse - he could have been Eddie Yemen.

I am fascinated by stories that my old spa partner Mika Hakkinen has announced he is on the driver market for 2005. This is great news for me and an added incentive to keep on driving a few more seasons, perhaps till 2008. I can imagine that the short Canadian one will not be pleased because if Mika returns there is no place for him.

I think Mika will be surprised at how young the drivers are these days. Grands prix are less like a motorsport event and more like a school disco. Though to counter-balance this there are a lot of very old hacking journalists who have been round since the days Mika and I were in karts – Peter, Alan, Bob, Nigel, Tony and Timothy must all be in their early sixties now. You can tell they are old because they talk about Alain Prost retiring like it was yesterday.

It is good that we are going to put an end to the stupid qualifying system after what happened before the Silverstone grand prix. I can tell you quite honestly, knowing that you will believe me, that this is not the way to go motor racing. It is only Eddie Yemen that is objecting to the new proposal for the two sessions because he won’t get his cars guaranteed on TV. No doubting he wants to get some money out of Bernie. I think the new aggravated time system will work very well.

On another point of the news, I am so glad that Max Mosley has reversed his decision to retire, because I know very well he said he would not be like an F1 team boss and change his mind every five minutes, but it is no shame to appear like a teenage girl and immediately go back on a decision you have just made if it is for the good of everybody. I have won all my seven Word titles with Max in charge of the FIA, so I think of him as my lucky (rule changing at the last minute) rabbit’s foot! Though I appreciate he is more than that.

One other thing that I have to mention is the motor racing debut of ‘The Crow’. Cora Schumacher has ended her Mini racing career after two races saying she is concentrating on looking after Ralf. (I imagine she enjoys dressing up as a nurse.)

Perhaps it was also something to do with coming 13th and 18th in the races and comments from German ex-F3000 driver Ellen Lohr. She is saying: "No real driver would take an additional twice 400 grams of extra weight along in the car," poking fun at The Crow’s fake breasts. “She's not a pro, she has no experience. If she gets into a crash, her breasts might burst. I don't know if that's what she wants."

I must remember to keep the cutting from Bild.

Wish me luck in Germany my endlessly faithful tifosis. It is the three-year anniversary of my last breaking down moment. Let us hope I can break my bogeys!

The Schumster.

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